All I've ever wanted was to find that sometime to truly and faithfully LOVE ME. Apparently now a days that's just too much to ask for. I've had many ups and downs when it comes to love. Many say, I'm the one who wears my heart on my sleeve. Yes, I know I do, but thats simply because I'm yearning to be loved. So I attempt to make each guy I meet and talk to be the one I could possibly fall in Love with, however, as my experiences have taught me, I can't. This in turn will only hurt me. Not everyone is Mr. Right, and I need to realize that. I just have the hardest time to, because I get all excited when I meet someone new, you get all the butterflies, and cutesy flirtyness going on...and that simply seems to find a way to cloud my judgment. I tend to find the goodness in everybody and escalate it to out do the bad, when in all reality, it should be the other way around. But only to my benefit, so I no longer have to worry about getting hurt. I feel like sometimes I emotionally 'dive' in too fast when it comes to guys, scratch that, I KNOW I dive in too fast emotionally when it comes to guys. I just cant seem to figure out how to change that about me. I feel like my wanting to be loved is so powerful it over takes my wanting of not being hurt again. It's like I'm willing to take that chance of getting hurt, just so that possibility of being loved might just be able to come true. I know I need to change my ways...and eventually I will...and I think here soon...mainly because my senses are heightening and I'm startin to be able to smell bullshit from a mile away...lets just hope what I want wont get in the way of it...I know I'll find the one to love me, someday...i just need to be patient....and patience is a virtue...
